


I found

by Alpha_Camolot



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, M/M, basically everyone sooner or later - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-13
Updated: 2017-07-13
Packaged: 2018-12-01 19:54:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11493612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alpha_Camolot/pseuds/Alpha_Camolot
Summary: Merlin is attending Camelot university. He expected classwork and magic. What he didn't expect was meddling friends, out of control magic, and being roommates with the Prince himself!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> so yeah. this. I lied about my other story, why do you do what you do. I got half a chapter written and stopped. I don't know when I'll go back to that. But in the meantime, I am still writing. I'm sorry moon. Your comments made me extremely happy (all comments do), but I don't know when I continue the other fic. So yeah, okay, On to this story!

Merlin had been attending Camelot University for three months now. Friends with his roommate, Arthur for two. Their first month had been rough. ‘Rough’ was putting it nicely. When they first met, they were arguing within five minutes. Arthur wanted the bed by the wall for his board, while Merlin wanted it for his posters. Not to mention the outlet that was right by it. Arthur claimed that he got first pick by rights of being their first. Merlin countered saying that he had come further, though he had no idea where Arthur was from, and needed the space. They argued for the better part of eight minutes, and would have still been at it if not for Morgana. Morgana was Arthur’s half sister, and apparently had some influence over Arthur’s actions. She simply said, “remember our talk” , with a perfect eyebrow raised. Arthur’s shoulders slumped and he took the other bed, mumbling something about Morgana’s love of strays. Morgana gave Merlin a wink and left to her room down the hall. Merlin liked her. Her brother? Not so much. From there, all they did was argue. No matter where they were or what they were doing. They argued about missing clothes, and food in their mini fridge, and even taste in music. Merlin still scoffed when he thought about one of their latest arguments. Arthur honestly thought star wars was better than star trek? The very notion made Merlin’s blood boil. On more than one occasion, their arguments got them sent to the dean's. Dr.Kilgharrah was a terrifying man. Still, better than being sent to Arthur’s father, the king. He was so busy that he hardly came around. Still, King Uther made regular visits as the school was funded for directly from the royal treasury. Merlin had the joy of meeting him. He gave off an aura that made it seem as if he was always looking down on others. And that he would be more than happy to see their execution- um, expulsion. Yes, expulsion, though that wasn’t much better. Camelot was the best school anywhere. It had the best magic courses too. Merlin was here on scholarship, thanks to his uncle Gaius, who had pulled a few strings. To get kicked out? Your life might as well be over. Uther was ruthless. Arthur had gone to see him, and came back crying. Merlin didn’t know what happened, and wasn’t sure if he wanted to. He simply comforted Arthur to the best of his ability, and from there, things changed. Sure they still argued, but while before they were out for blood, now that banter was more for entertainment. There was no longer any malice in their words, and their conversations carried an air of comradeship. Merlin would dare say that they were friends, that just happened to have an unhealthy amount of debates. The next two months was smooth sailing, for the most part. Merlin had made tons of friends since being here. He had an especially tight circle of friends(that he shared with Arthur); Gwaine, Percival, Leon, Lancelot, Elyan, Morgana, and Gwen. Their group was practically inseparable, and as close as best friends got. Merlin even had a few of his magic courses with Morgana. Potions 101, Alchemy fundamentals, and Spellcasting intermediate. Gaius had tried to get Merlin in higher classes, on account of his higher than normal possession of magic, but the classes were mandatory. Merlin didn’t mind at all. The class was fun, and for him, most of the work was easy. Morgana had come to him on few occasions to ask for help. One time, Arthur had walked in on them practicing. It was a simple conjuring spell used for creating orbs of light. Morgana had mastered it and wanted to learn how to make different sizes. Merlin, of course, couldn’t help himself and had made different sized orbs of a variety of colors. The room was absolutely filled with them. Merlin was so absorbed that he didn’t know anyone had come in until he heard the sharp inhale behind him. He turned around and stared at Arthur in shock. Arthur stared right back, then turned and left them to it. They kept at it for another fifteen minutes before Morgana gave him a kiss on the cheek and left. Merlin had stood and stretched, and had cast the spell to make the lights fade. As Merlin looked at himself in the mirror, he nearly pissed himself. His eyes had been gold the entire time, and only went back to blue as the last light disappeared behind him. Arthur. Arthur would have seen. Merlin clenched his heart and fell to his knees. Merlin could count on one hand the number of non-magical people that had seen his eyes turn gold. His mother, William (though he preferred Will), and Lancelot. Now he had to add Arthur to that list. Merlin was extremely cautious of who he used his magic around. He had always been a bit self-conscious, as he was a bit of an oddity in the magical world. He wasn’t an outcast, per say, but he might as well be. He was always treated differently in the magic community because of the amount of magic he possessed. There wasn’t a soul alive that came close. Merlin wasn’t one to brag, but the amount of magic from every magical being at the school was probably equal to what he had in his pinky nail, teachers included. And once people found out, they always expected so much of him. Or they feared him. There had been times where, if not for his magic, he would have been killed. Merlin didn’t like to dwell on that. Instead, he tried to focus on the now. He repressed his magic, especially among his peers. When Merlin saw everyone struggle with what he could do as a baby, he made sure to slow down as well. To lower everyone’s expectations. Morgana had a guess about his powers, but didn’t push it, for which he was grateful. Gaius had done a few tests, but Merlin seemed like a bottomless well. A well the size of the ocean. There was also Gwaine, who had an iota of green magic. It was so small, however, that Gwaine wasn’t even considered for classes. Merlin was also sure Mordred knew. Mordred was a druid kid in another residence hall. He specialized in telepathic connections. Merlin would catch Mordred staring at him, a sort of hero worship in his eyes. Merlin would try to suppress his magic even more, causing Mordred to smirk and look away. It was all very weird, but Merlin thought Mordred to be harmless, although creepy. But what to do about Arthur?  Merlin decided to let the pieces fall where they may. When Arthur had come back that night, he didn’t say anything. He didn’t even mention it. Merlin would have been perfectly fine to let sleeping dogs lie, but Merlin could feel Arthur’s stare. After a week of Arthur staring, and Merlin pretending to not notice, Arthur finally brought it up. 

Merlin was lounging on his bed, feeling accomplished. He had just submitted his paper, just a few minutes before the 11 o’clock deadline. Not to mention he didn’t have any classes tomorrow. Yes, all-in-all, Merlin was feeling mighty good about himself. Arthur had stumbled in. He wasn’t drunk enough to trip over his own feet. But he did sway in place. Merlin could faintly smell scotch Arthur liked to drink. Nevermind how Merlin knew what that smelled like. Arthur plopped on his bed without even changing. Merlin sighed as if he was terribly put on. Even though on the inside he wasn’t. Arthur had been dropped off by Leon one night, completely plastered. Merlin had learned that drunk Arthur was a cuddly, nice Arthur. Merlin got up and got a bottle of water out of their fridge. He popped the cap and handed it to Arthur, trusting he was sober enough to hold the bottle. After a bit of persuasion, he got Arthur to take several long swallows. Merlin took the bottle back and put the cap on, before returning to his own bed. 

“I’m waking you up in an hour so you could change.” Merlin said. Arthur made a sound that Merlin took as affirmation. Arthur was singing and talking to himself under his breath. He might have been talking to Merlin, but Merlin had opting for ignoring him. Arthur would hopefully talk himself to sleep eventually. So, Merlin didn’t respond to anything Arthur said until something caught his attention.

“You- hiccup- could have done it the other way you know.” Arthur said. 

“What are you talking about?” Merlin asked.

“The water. You didn’t have to. You could have done it the other way. You never do.” Arthur responded, as if Merlin understood what he was talking about. Merlin rubbed his temples, trying to make sense of Arthur’s words.

“You’re drunk Arthur.” Merlin said. Arthur let out a groan. As if putting up with Merlin was incredibly taxing to his patience.

“‘M not-hiccup- that drunk.” Arthur said. Merlin just nodded, the way you did to a child that wanted to be right. “I mean it You never use it.” Arthur said. Merlin didn’t have time for this.

“What are you on about then? Did someone drug your drink?” Merlin asked.

“Your magic,  _ Mer _ lin. You never use your magic.” Arthur said. Arthur didn’t notice the little panic attack his words has caused, and instead plowed on. “Never. Not for cleaning, or cooking, or anything.” Arthur said.

“I-I do use my magic.” Merlin finally managed to breathe out. Arthur looked at Merlin with a hurt look. Like Merlin had just kicked his disabled pet turtle or something.

“Not around me you don’t. But you have no problem with- hic- Morgs or anything. I don’t I don’t get it.” Arthur said. Merlin felt his heart clench. “Will you ever show me anything? I’m your friend to aren’t I?” Arthur asked. Merlin decided this was entirely unfair. It would probably do know harm, but still.

“Of course we are Arthur. It’s just- I don’t know.” he said. Arthur’s eyes teared a bit and his bottom lip wobbled. As a grown man, Merlin shouldn’t have found that so cute.

“Please?” Arthur asked, and Merlin felt his resolve crumble. Merlin hoped that this didn’t become a regular occurrence between them. Arthur was proving to be quite undeniable. Merlin slumped his shoulders.

“Alright then.” Merlin said. Arthur smiled brightly and pulled himself up a bit. Merlin decided he liked that smile. It was crooked, and mostly teeth. But it was unguarded and so _ Arthur,  _ Merlin found that he loved it anyway. So, Merlin found himself thinking of which spells to show Arthur. He started with a orb of light Arthur had seen him doing. Arthur’s face adopted a wonder filled structure. Like a child on Christmas day. Merlin hid his smirk, and decided it was safe to add a bit more. Merlin changed it different colors, but Arthur squealed like a pig when it turned gold. Merlin did laugh at that one, and decided to keep it gold. Then he turned the orb into different shapes. A flower, a bell, a cube, a dragon. Merlin was pretty sure that Arthur was going to explode if he kept it up. Nevertheless, Arthur seemed to really, _ really  _ like the dragon. It was 2-D, but Merlin knew he could step it up. He only wondered if Arthur would be able to take it. Merlin decided to take his chances, and hoped he would be forgiven if Arthur died of happiness. Merlin turned the dragon to one that you would see at a Chinese new year. It flew over to Arthur who was absolutely ecstatic. Merlin had never seen such a face on Arthur. It filled him with warmth all the way down to his core. If this was all it took to make Arthur happy, Merlin would never stop. Merlin added more and more, entertaining Arthur with little tricks. He completely lost track of time. When Merlin woke up again, his clock read 10:06 am. Arthur was nowhere to be seen. Merlin went to the shared kitchen. Gwen had made muffins for everyone the other day, and they tasted like edible joy. And if Morgana was giving him  _ looks,  _ well Merlin didn’t respond to them. 

Merlin thought about that night. Alot. It probably wasn’t healthy. Merlin had shown Arthur more magic since then, but it wasn’t the same. Sober Arthur still loved the magic, but it was more contained. More reserved. Probably from all the years of training to be the prince. To always be regal and composed. Merlin wanted drunk Arthur, and was ashamed to admit that he had thought about purposely drugging him. It had only happened once, but Arthur trusted Merlin. To betray him like that, even if there were complete innocent motives, was wrong. Merlin knew it to. Merlin knew that none of the people Arthur was out with now would do that to him. Right now, Arthur was probably living it up, partying with some chic, and being all handsy with her. Those were the thoughts Merlin had as he drifted off to sleep. 

Merlin awoke with a gasp, tears streaming down his face. Everything in the room was hovering. Everything. It all crashed back to the ground as Merlin exhaled. Merlin looked over to Arthur’s empty bed, and he was overcome with waves of pain. His heart was being squeezed, his lungs compressed. Every breath was becoming harder and harder to take. Merlin forced himself to get up. Step-by-shaky step, he made his way to Arthur’s bed. He collapsed on it and dragged Arthur’s pillow to his face. It smelt like him. Merlin suddenly found breathing a little easier. Slowly he calmed down from his nightmare. For what else could it be? In it, he dreamed about Arthur. Arthur was excited about something. He came back with a girl. Her features were indistinct, but Merlin knew she was beautiful. She was standing next to Arthur, and they were beautiful. All of Merlin and Arthur’s friends were surrounding her. Laughing with her. Arthur took her hand, fingers interlocked, and they left. Arthur left. When Merlin saw Arthur again, him and the beautiful girl were getting married. They were saying their vows. Then Arthur literally swept her off her feet, and carried her away. Arthur was gone, and Merlin returned to his bedroom alone. Where he promptly lost it. And that was were Merlin woke up. Merlin hadn’t done magic in his sleep for a long time. A really long time.  As Merlin laid there, he realized his nightmare was a very real possibility. It should have been a good dream. Arthur had been happy in it. But he had been happy with someone else. The very thought caused a lamp on the desk to glow, before exploding. It would have been funny in any other situation. One where Merlin wasn’t realizing he was madly, truly, deeply in love with Arthur Pendragon. The thought settled over Merlin, and he couldn’t shake it. Merlin thought he must have been in love with Arthur, as it didn’t come as a shock, and was just now grasping his feelings for what they were. Merlin suddenly hated every love story, song, and poem out there. Where people fell in love slowly and were filled with butterflies. Where time slowed down, and the love of their life filled them with warmth. Where electricity made their toes curl and they were happy. Because that was all a bunch of bull. Right now, Merlin was scared. Scared beyond belief. Because Arthur was popular, and if not for them being roommates, their circles would have never crossed. Scared because Arthur was the sun, and Merlin knew he would be burned if he got to close. Scared that if Arthur even caught a hint of Merlin’s feelings, it would end the best friendship Merlin had ever known. Merlin was terrified, because this could go so horribly wrong. Feelings were such messy, complicated things. If only Merlin could have been like Gwen and Lance, who took one look at each other and cherry blossoms started falling around them. But no, Merlin had to go and fall for his arrogant, infuriating, self-righteous, beautiful beast friend. Who Merlin would have to let go of. Merlin took one more deep breath of the pillow, and let he go. He walked over to his bed, got under the covers, and stared resolutely out the window.

Merlin had made his life changing discovery about two weeks ago. One week, four days, twelve hours, and 37 minutes to be exact. Merlin had been treating Arthur like shit too. He ignored his questions, went out of his way to avoid him, left the room when he knew Arthur was coming. It was driving Merlin and Arthur both mad. The only thing that still happened was the magic. It was almost like a religious practice. Merlin normally went to bed around 10 something. So Arthur made it his personal business to be back by eight on the dot. He stopped going out drinking at night, and instead brought back food for Merlin. While Merlin ate, he would take his shower and get ready for bed. It was really hard for Merlin to say  _ no  _ when Arthur brought back all his favorites. Arthur really knew how to make this whole, getting over him business hard. Arthur would then sit on Merlin’s bed, and look at him expectantly. It took every fibre of Merlin’s strength to not run away. Or to kiss Arthur. Merlin would do magic for Arthur until they both fell asleep. Arthur falling asleep was one of Merlin’s favorite things. Because he could ogle without being judged. Because he could brush Arthur’s fringe from his eyes without having to double think his actions. Because he could hold Arthur’s hand to his cheek without consequence. And then in the morning, he guilt would eat him alive and he would avoid the heck out of Arthur. It was a viscous cycle, that was putting a strain on them. Merlin saw the looks. The pity in everyone’s eyes. Except Morgana, who was two-fifths pity, and three-fifths anger. And he saw the hurt in Arthur’s. He was hurting Arthur. He was no good for him. All their friends obviously wanted to know what was going on between them. But no one acted upon it. Until Lancelot that is. Arthur, Elyan, and Percival had class. Gwen and Morgana had gone shopping. Leon took his car to the shop. And Gwaine had gone to check on his mother. It was just the two of them.

“Merlin,” Lance said as he entered the lounge Merlin was residing in, “we need to talk.” Merlin knew this was coming. Didn’t stop him from flinching though.

“What about?” Merlin asked, feigning ignorance.

“You and Arthur. What’s going on between you guys? And don’t think about lying. I know you too well.” Lance said. Lancelot made it really hard to lie to him. He was all chivalry and honesty and goodness. He this understanding brother/ parent vibe going. Merlin crossed his arm over his eyes. This would probably be a bit more painless if Merlin didn’t have to look at him when he confessed this.

“I’m in love with Arthur.” Merlin said weakly. Merlin wasn’t sure if Lance had heard him, but when he was met with silence, followed by the sounds of Lance sitting down, he knew that he had. 

“Okay.” Lance said. “And have you told him this?” he asked. Merlin looked at Lance as if he had lost his mind.

“It’s not that easy.” Merlin said as he sat up.

“What do you mean?” Lancelot asked. Merlin’s knee started bouncing. A nervous habit that he formed as a kid and was never able to break.

“Because not all of us get to be with their soulmates, with complimentary chocolate and champagne on the side. Life likes certain people Lance, and I’m not one of them.” Merlin said. Lancelot’s eyebrows rose high.

“You think Arthur is your soulmate?” he asked. Merlin let out a little scream of frustration and grabbed his hair.

“You’re missing the point! He’s the prince Lance! ” Merlin screeched.

“You need to tell him how you feel.” Lancelot said, sympathetically.

“I can’t.” Merlin responded as he got up and began to pace.

“Why not?” Lancelot asked, genuine curiosity covering his features.

“How can I tell him? How could I tell him that he’s all I think about? That he’s my first thought in the morning, and my last at night? That just hearing his voice makes my day infinitely better? That I count myself lucky, even on my shit days, because I’m walking this earth the same time that he is?” Merlin practically screamed, running his fingers through his hair. “That he’s my sunshine. And that every day would be dark without him.” he said. Merlin suddenly turned and stared at Lancelot with such pain on his features, Lance almost cried. “I couldn’t bare it Lance. I couldn’t.” Merlin said in almost a whisper. Lance stood and walked over to Merlin, embracing him in a hug.

“It’s all gonna work itself out Merlin.” Lancelot said. Merlin buried his head in Lance’s shoulder and let out a sniffle. It was at that moment that Gwaine burst through the door.   
“Let’s go losers! We’re going-oh.” he said, stopping in his tracks. Merlin and Lance broke apart, and Gwaine scoffed his shoe on the ground. “I could come back later.” he said while reaching for the door. Painfully obtuse Gwaine was showing a lot of tact. What a scene they must make. Merlin shook his head.

“No, it’s okay. I think going out is just what I need. So we’re we headed?” Merlin asked. Gwaine’s face split into his date winning grin.

“Well ladies, I figured we’d grab a couple drinks and then dance the night away.” he said. Merlin smiled back.

“Dancing to ten it is!” Merlin said. “I’ve got a lecture at noon tomorrow, and I need a couple hours to sleep off the hangover.” Lance and Gwaine smiled. 

“Let’s go then.” Lance said.


	2. Chapter 2

It was a just a bit past 3 when Merlin finally stumbled in. It wasn’t as if Arthur had been up staring at his clock and knew that it was 3:14 to be exact. Arthur heard as Lance helped Merlin to their room, and said goodnight. In the process of closing the door behind him, Merlin knocked over the coat hanger. He put a finger to his lips and shushed it. Arthur almost laughed at the scene before him.  _ Almost _ . He stood from his bed and walked toward Merlin. Merlin gave the rack a death glare, as if it was the reason Arthur had woken up, and he was mad at it for blowing his super secret stealth. He was without a doubt shitfaced, specially if the slightly strong scent of alcohol was any indication to how much he had been drinking. Arthur had learned the hard way never to simply just trust his luck when it came to Merlin, and was glad Lance had been looking out for him. Merlin was still swaying slightly on his feet. Arthur put his arms on Merlin’s shoulders to steady him a bit. When he thought that Merlin could stand on his own he let go. That proved to be an error in judgement on his part as Merlin fell into his chest with a soft  _ oomph _ . Arthur sighed and snaked an arm under Merlin’s, and half carried half dragged him to his bed. Merlin fell in it face first without even bothering to take off his shoes.  _ Honestly.  _ Arthur went to the kitchen and got a cup of water. When he came back Merlin was exactly as he had left him. Arthur was suddenly reminded of when Merlin had done this for  _ him. _

“Come on Merlin, sit up and drink this for me.” Arthur said. Merlin grumbled something into his pillow that somewhat sounded like I don’t want to. Arthur let out another exasperated sigh and walked to his roommate's bed. Arthur turned Merlin and held the cup to his lips, not trusting Merlin to not wet the bed if he simply handed it over. Arthur saw Merlin’s Adam's apple bob as he took a few big swallows. Then he collapsed into his bed again.

“Thanks” he said, words only a slightly slurred. Arthur made a noncommittal sound as he put the glass on the nightstand. He then turned back to Merlin, and without a word kneeled to start undoing the laces on his shoes.

“What would you do without me Merlin?” Arthur asked teasingly as he finally got one shoe off.

“I’d probably get a lot more sleep,” Merlin said with a yawn to prove his point, “you work me like a slave.”

Arthur felt indignation rising in his chest.

“I do not-” Arthur began, but then stopped when he looked up and realized Merlin had a smile on his face. Arthur had missed that smile.

“Well not all the time you don’t. There are times where you can be-” Merlin said trailing off.

“I can be what?” Arthur asked as he removed the second shoe. Merlin bit his lip, a habit Arthur noticed that Merlin did when deciding whether or not to say something. Apparently slightly drunk Merlin is freer with his thoughts.

“You can be kind.” Merlin finished. Arthur felt a bit confused, and something in his heart thumped at the confession. He was going to ask Merlin to elaborate, but he didn’t need too. Merlin was already talking again.

“Sometimes when you take the stick outta your arse you can be, well warm, if that makes any sense. I’ve seen it. When you stop being a royal prat and you’re just Arthur. You should see yourself. It makes me wish you were like that all the time.” Merlin said. Arthur for some reason was starting to feel uncomfortable. Merlin, oblivious to his distress, plowed on.

“Sometimes I think you could be if you just,” Merlin paused here, “If you just be yourself.”

Arthur was beyond baffled by now.

“What are you talking about Merlin? I am myself.” Arthur asked, even though he wasn’t sure if he wanted to know the answer.

“No you’re not. Most of the time you’re the school’s golden boy. So caught up in what other people think of you. What your father thinks of you. I just don’t get it.” Merlin responded. Arthur couldn’t help himself from stiffening at the mention of his dad. Merlin was still talking.

“I mean-I was never that close to my dad. He left when I was four, but he kept in touch. Still, I never had to feel the pressure of wanting his approval, so I don’t have any understanding of what it’s like to be you. So I just don’t understand why you work yourself so hard. I see the way you look sometimes. Tired, defeated. You try so hard to be the person people want you to be, and I can’t help but think, who do you want to be yourself? I doubt you could be happy with all the things you have to do, and yet you do them anyway. Cause that’s what a good prince does in your father’s eyes. I wish you could see yourself how I see you. You don’t have to try to please everyone Arthur. You don’t have to dance in the spotlight they’ve given you, because you glow so brightly on your own.” Merlin said. Arthur felt tears stinging in his eyes. Merlin, who was already almost sleep, didn’t notice.

“When I first met you, I thought you were the worst person in the world. Now, I can see how completely wrong I was. Gosh, Arthur, you’re amazing. If someone asked me what I thought of you two months ago, they would have received a very different answer.” Merlin said voice slightly muffled as he buried into his covers. Arthur felt a very painful lump in his throat.

“And- and if they asked you now?” Arthur asked, aware of the uncertainty in his voice. Merlin’s eyes and his mop of black hair popped out under the covers. His eyes were crinkled in the way that they did when Merlin was smiling.

“Let’s just say that I changed my mind.” Merlin responded as he finally fell asleep. Arthur stood up, consumed with entire new variations of numb. Then, somewhere inside him, he felt different. As if something was thawed by the warmth of Merlin’s words. Arthur planted a tiny kiss on the top of Merlin’s head, before going to his side of their room. Arthur realized as he crawled into bed that he finally was free. Finally had what he had been wanting his whole life. Permission. Permission to be who he wanted. To be happy. There were tears still in his eyes as he too, began falling asleep. They weren’t from sadness. Arthur joked that Merlin would be lost without, but in reality, Arthur wasn’t sure if he could survive without Merlin.

Arthur awoke the next morning to a crash and a jumbled string of curses.

“Bloody Gwaine. Should have never listened to him.” Arthur heard. He stretched and rolled over to look at Merlin. 

“Hangover?” Arthur asked.

“Yes.” Merlin said with a wince. “And I’m running late. If Mordred hadn’t asked if I wanted a hangover cure, I probably would have missed class altogether.” Merlin said. Arthur was a bit amazed that that someone would a hangover could talk so much.

“When’d he call?” Arthur asked. 

“Telepathy thing. He could feel my hangover. I haven’t exactly figured out how to cut him out of my head, which is a good thing. I have the best notes because of him.” Merlin said as if Arthur actually understood. Magic was such an interesting thing. 

“Poor guy. He has to put up with your hangover and voice first thing in the morning.”

“Har Har,” Merlin said, “You handle it just fine.” 

“That I do.” Arthur responded. Merlin turned and smiled at him. The smile he used to give before he started acting weird. For a moment, it almost felt as if things were normal between them. But then the smile faded and Arthur felt his stomach tie in knots. 

“I’d better get going. I need to squeeze a 15 minute walk in 3.” Merlin said.

“Yeah okay, see ya later.” he said. Arthur heard a faint bye as Merlin dashed away. Arthur looked at his alarm clock and groaned. He should be getting up too. Arthur pushed himself up and made his way to his and Merlin’s bathroom. After freshening up a bit, he went to get dressed. Arthur put on a pair of dark jeans, and a crisp button down. Arthur ate a quick breakfast, snagging the last of the muffins. After brushing his teeth, he was ready for the day. He grabbed his shades and went to knock on Morgana’s door. Morgana opened it, looking as manicured and perfect as she always did. It was time to go. As Camelot’s resident royals, they were showstoppers. They had to go and greet the masses, and they had a live interview today. Getting there was going to be a battlefield.

“Ready at last, dear brother?” Morgana asked. Arthur just rolled his eyes, and didn’t bother to respond. “You might want to work on your manners before we get the the plaza.” Morgana said. Arthur just grabbed his and Morgana’s coats and held the door open for her. She swept past with movements of grace, and they left. They both put their shades on and morgana whipped out her phone. 

“What are you doing?” Arthur asked.   
“Making sure that everything is in place, since I assume that you didn’t?” she said. Arthur hated that she was right. There had been one memorial incident where they had fought of crazed fans, paparazzi, and what seemed like hours of traffic, only to find out that the event was cancelled until next week on account of the duke’s sickness. Morgana had been pissed for days. Here on campus was a bit better. Less people, more ready security. When Arthur and Morgana finally made it to the outside world, the coast seemed clear. They had only made it halfway across the plaza before they were spotted though. People began rushing up to them. Arthur and Morgana both loved the people, honestly, but sometimes they were a bit much. They quickly took a few photos before they had to go again. When it seemed the crowd wasn’t quite ready to let them go, Morgana said a quick spell. They teleported about 30 feet away, and broke into a run. When at last the chasing crowd had died away, they stopped to catch their breaths. 

“I- I didn’t know you could do that.” Arthur said. Morgana took a deep breath, then let it go.

“Merlin taught it to me last week. It’s been really helpful.” Morgana responded. Arthur’s stomach twisted at the mention of Merlin. He could hardly get Merlin alone for five minutes, yet Morgana managed to learn entire spells from him. Arthur then realized that she was still talking.

“Of course, it takes a lot of magic. If you over do-it, it makes you terribly dizzy. Like hangover dizzy. Nothing nice. Merlin said that as my magic grows, so will the distance I’ll be able to go.” Morgana said. Arthur nodded his head, and made a noise to show he was listening. Morgana carried on talking the rest of their walk there. Merlin this, and Merlin that. Arthur was torn between admiration and intense anger. At last they made it to the plaza. Arthur glanced at his watch, 1:58. They had just made it. Their interview was taking place in a large grassy field, but their was a large overhang in the middle of it. Arthur and Morgana were led to the stage. There were tons of people here, maybe hundreds. Nimueh and Valiant had been voted tv’s hottest talk show couple, though Val never said much. Arthur and Morgana took their seats, and the show’s jingle started. 

“Hello everyone! To our viewers at home. And hello Camelot University!” Nimueh said, as the people cheered. “Today we have the honor of welcoming their majesties, Morgana and Arthur Pendragon!” The crowd roared again. Morgana shot Arthur a smug look. Arthur was shocked to be able to understand it. Arthur didn’t care that Morgana’s name was first. There was a pleasant conversation between Morgana and Nimueh, and Arthur had never been more glad that he was half listening, as suddenly the conversation was directed to him. “So Arthur, can I call you Arthur?”, at his nod she continued. “Let’s talk about these photos that have taken the internet by storm.” she said. Arthur was suddenly very nervous, but hid it well. What photos? Nimueh gestured to the screen behind her, where Arthur was shown picking a small kitten up off the ground. Arthur very nearly had a panic attack. Arthur remembered that day well. Him and Merlin were walking and Merlin insisted that they try a new bakery that had opened. Merlin had a nefarious sweet tooth. Arthur hadn’t the heart to tell him no, but he didn’t want to go in. He was standing outside when a kitten had rubbed against his leg. He had bent down to pet her, and she had purred, so he picked her up. Merlin had come back out with a bag of sweets, took one look at the kitten, and shrieked. Actually, loudly shrieked. Before Arthur could blink, he was holding the sweets, and Merlin had the cat. He was cooing at her and admiring her paws.

“I shall dub thee, Freya and you shall be mine. And you shall be my Freya.” Merlin had said. Arthur had shook his head, but Merlin’s mind was set. Resolutely. He was not giving her up. Arthur remembered Merlin spouting some nonsense about familiars and all that junk, and that had been it. Merlin had bought her a collar, a bed, and food in the same day. They set up appointments for getting her shots. Arthur hadn’t even realized anyone else had been around. Arthur gulped down his nerves, and looked back to Nimueh.

“Oh. Yes. Her name is Freya.” Arthur said. Nimueh leaned forward as if Arthur was feeding her some very valuable information.

“Is that so? And where is she now?” Nimueh asked. Arthur looked to Morgana, and she gave a small nod of her head. So Arthur decided to indulge everyone.

“Probably with her great uncle. She’s too young to be on her own you see.” Arthur said. Nimeuh’s head twisted to the side.   
“So she’s at the palace?” she asked. Arthur let out a little laugh, thinking of the maids trying the get Freya down from the top of the curtains.

“No, no. She’s actually Merlin’s and he would have a fit if I tried to take her off campus.” Arthur said. Morgana laughed at that.

“A fit is putting it nicely.” Morgana said, her eyes crinkled in mirth. Merlin had once caught Gwaine trying to coax Freya to try a few drops of wine. Gwaine never tried again. From what Arthur heard from Leon later, it had not been a pretty sight.

“Merlin?” Valiant asked. Morgana jumped in here.

“He’s our friend.” Morgana said. So sharp and cut that it was obvious there would be no further information given about him. Arthur thought he saw a familiar flash of red and blue out the corner of his eye. When he turned, however, nothing was there. Arthur kept scanning the crowd as the discussion continued. Arthur was so distracted, he wasn’t really thinking about what he was saying. Morgana also appeared to not care. With Arthur’s quick thinking, which came from living with Merlin, and Morgana’s snark and sarcasm, they had the audience howling with laughter. Even valiant was struggling to keep his face straight. It was all fun until a girl managed to get passed the guards and throw herself on stage. She was obviously not a student. She ripped her shirt opened, exposing herself to Arthur.

“I Love you!” she screamed before she was caught. A guard had thrown his jacket over her, for her own modesty or for the audience, Arthur wasn’t sure. The audience went wild. More people suddenly wanted to jump on stage. 

“Well ladies and gentlemen, That’s all the time we have for today! Be blessed, Loves!” she said. The guards helped Arthur, Morgana, Valiant, and Nimueh escape. Arthur could have sworn he saw a red neckerchief as he descended the stage.

“I’m so sorry about that.” Nimueh breathed.

“No harm done. To me anyway. Whoever she was, she’s gonna look back on this for a while.” Arthur said. They earned him a few chuckles, and they all went their separate ways. 

Morgana had a meet-up with Gwen, so Arthur carried on alone. Arthur was losing his mind. He kept seeing Merlin everywhere. Little glimpses, that were really just blurs. But Arthur knew, he  _ knew.  _ Right? He tried chasing the blurs once, to no avail. By dinner, Arthur was wrung out. Someway, somehow, Arthur ended up back outside that little bakery. Arthur decided to go in. Arthur bought some of the brownies, which were Merlin’s favorite things ever. When Arthur got back, Merlin was sitting cross legged on his bed, typing away. Merlin pushed up his glasses and scrunched his nose. Arthur didn’t find that cute at all. When Merlin looked up and caught him staring, Arthur threw the bag at his head. Arthur closed the door behind him and walked to his dresser. He heard Merlin rustle with the bag as he got out some pajamas. 

“Only you could be mean when giving someone a gift.” Merlin said.

“It’s not a gift, it’s a necessity. You my friend, need the calories. I figure that by making you eat at night, you won’t burn them off and actually stand a chance of gaining some weight.” Arthur said. Behind him Merlin was silent, all except a quiet thanks. Arthur looked at him and he had that look on his face. That sad, sad look. Arthur hated it, yet Merlin still wouldn’t tell him what it was about. It disappeared in an instant, because one thing Arthur had learned, was that Merlin was extremely good at pushing his emotions away. Too good in fact. Arthur turned to go in the bathroom. Right before he closed the door, he had something to say to Merlin.

“You’re covered in cat hair.” He said. Merlin let out a squawk and Arthur closed the door with a laugh.

When Arthur emerged from the bathroom, Merlin’s laptop and brownie were gone. As well as the shirt. Merlin had put on a blue one instead. Arthur grabbed his phone, then sat on Merlin’s bed without even bothering to ask. This was the best part of Arthur’s day. 

“Morgana says you showed her a teleportation spell?” Arthur asked. Merlin’s eyes lit up. 

“Yeah I did! She’s great at it! I was thinking of showing her how to bring things to her next.” Merlin said. Arthur wasn’t even listening as Merlin continued to speak. Merlin didn’t talk about magic to others very much. Showed his own magic even less. You had to really have his trust to get Merlin to show you something. Arthur always felt bad for people who didn’t get to see Merlin like this. Merlin’s eyes sparkled and he talked with exaggerated movements. Merlin had no idea what Merlin was talking about when he talked about spells but Arthur loved hearing him talk about it nonetheless. Arthur also loved how it made Merlin relax. Merlin was always so stiff, as if he was hiding something else. And sometimes, Arthur would catch glimpses of it. Whatever secret it was that was oppressing Merlin. But Merlin wouldn’t talk to him about it, and became even more reserved when Arthur asked. He just hoped Merlin would confide with him eventually. But as he was now, all smiles and jokes, Arthur could let it be. Because this was the Merlin only he got to see. Morgana had probably never seen Merlin like this because with her, he was a teacher. With Arthur, he was a friend. Merlin cupped his hands together and a small blue butterfly flew away. Arthur was in awe. Merlin made more and more and Arthur laughed. 

“You girl!” Arthur teased. Merlin flopped back on his bed and covered his eyes with his forearm. Arthur lamented not being able to them anymore, but the butterflies made up for it. They did little tricks and arranged themselves into patterns. It wasn’t until Arthur looked more closely that he realized they were forming runes. Arthur had seen them in one of Morgana’s books. Before Arthur knew what he was doing, he took a picture. Merlin didn’t even notice. The butterflies continued rearranging themselves into different runes. 

“Merlin?” Arthur asked. Merlin moved his arm and looked at Arthur, eyes still gold. He was so relaxed, an open lazy smile on his face. “What do these say?” Arthur asked motioning to the butterflies. Merlin looked and drew in a sharp breath. The butterflies scattered and,...and began to die. They started hitting the floor one by one, before they disappeared. Merlin was no longer relaxed and carefree. He was tense and looked a bit scared. 

“I-I um- I need to go.” Merlin said while pushing himself up.  _ No.  _

“No.” Arthur said while trying to grab his arm. How had things gone so wrong? Merlin evaded him, and was already on his feet. As Merlin jammed on some shoes, Arthur stood in front of the door. “Merlin please. Stay. Talk to me.” Arthur begged. Merlin looked pained, his eyes watering.

“Arthur I, gosh. I can’t.” He said. Merlin made to push Arthur out of the way, but Arthur hugged him, and hugged him tight. Merlin struggled for all of two seconds before relaxing against him. Maybe Merlin would trust him.

“Just tell me what’s been going on with you.” Arthur said. That made Merlin tense up again, and he pried himself free. He looked at Arthur with large, sad eyes. 

“I-I’m sorry.” Merlin said. Before Arthur could say anything else, Merlin’s eyes shone gold and he disappeared. Arthur stood there a moment in shock. 

“Dammit!” Arthur cried as he slid down the door. Arthur’s heavy breathing was the only sound in the room. Arthur almost wished he had disappeared like the butterflies. He had pushed to much, and now Merlin was gone.


End file.
